Surprise, AZ - City Mayor Joan Shafer announced to the local press this morning that children are no longer allowed to administer the “Cootie Shot” amongst themselves. “The children were becoming choosy and selective with who was to receive the shot. They became aware of the power they had and refused to provide releif for those who were suffering.” Shafer also made the public more aware of what exactly the Cooties Infection is compromised of.

The Cooties Infection affects 3 in 4 children ranging from ages five to nine and can be detrimental to a child’s health. The infection can spread quickly, a simple sharing of food or using a fellow classmates finger paint is enough contact for it to transfer from body to body. Children have been taught at the earliest age possible to give the shot to thier fellow peers by tracing an imaginary circle on the sick friend twice and then putting an imaginary dot twice in the middle of the circle saying, “Circle-circle, dot-dot, now you have the Cootie Shot”. But now, only parents are allowed to give the shot to thier children. Mayor Shafer continued saying, “The Cooties Infection effects most of our kids, and while letting them know how to give the shot can be life saving; we cannot let our kids have such a heavy responsibility placed on thier little shoulders.”

The Cooties disease makes children repulsive and disgusting to thier fellow peers, even to those who do not know them. Lisa Spinner, a six-year old in Surprise Elementary School said, “I think it’s a good idea to let the grown-ups take over giving the Cootie Shot, some people weren’t nice enough to give it to Bobby Greenham and his fingers fell off!” The Cooties is no laughing manner. Studies have shown that if left untreated, the Cooties can cause reclusive and shut-in adult behaivor whose only contact with others is through the computer game World of Warcraft. Shafer concluded saying, “We feel that if the parents have sole authority on giving the Cootie Shot, then no child shall have to suffer from the Cooties.”