BREAKING FAKE NEWS- In an apparent common reaction to a common house cat, super-star Jennifer Aniston was reported as sneezing early this morning in Malibu. Not much is known right now, but reports are coming in of a possible second sneeze immediately following the horrifying first.

The incident, if confirmed, could spell disaster for the closely watched Aniston, who stars in the up coming film Friends with Money and whose facial features are iffy at best. According to insiders, Aniston, one of Hollywood’s “IT” girls will essentially kiss her social life good bye if the rumors are true. Leading celebrity medical doctors agree, that common pet dander allergies are definite signs of infertility, cancer, HIV, Tuberculosis, and worse-of-all, saggy eyelids and breasts. Bruce Genser a leading celebrity podiatrist says, “Pet allergies are signs of all kinds of other horrifying medical conditions, and can be very telling to Miss Aniston’s condition. This sneeze could easily prove she is dating Vince Vaughn, the reason Brad Pitt broke up with her, or worse the reason she made The Leprechaun movie, we just don’t know at this point, and I don’t want to speculate about anything until the sneeze is confirmed.” When told about the possible second sneeze, Genser was quoted as saying, “Jesus! It’s worse than I thought… She’s pregnant!”

Aniston who became famous as the girl on that one show with the haircut that was so hot in 1997, and lived in an unrealistic apartment in a New York devoid of African Americans, Hispanics, homeless, and trash, but littered with stupid Italian stereotypes. Aniston who surprisingly turned out to be a good actress shot to extreme fame after marrying mediocre actor, but hugely famous Brad Pitt. Their recent breakup shocked Hollywood, which is not known for short lived marriages. The devastating breakup left Aniston broken and alone for a reported shocking week and a half, before hooking up with co-star Vince Vaughn. Speculation continues about the two stars relationship of about a year, many insiders believe the couple could already have one child together with a second and possible a third on the way.

Anniston who recently beat cancer and polio as a child is working on her next unannounced movie.