Canton Ohio - Local resident Julie Simon in a press release today announced that she is no longer attractive naked. Well over forty years of age and not in top physical shape, she has come to the conclusion that she is not sexual attractive anymore. Her suspicions first started a couple years ago when she started noticing her flabby arms, saddlebags, love handles, saggy boobs and the cellulite under her butt.

Julie’s suspicions were confirmed when she was undressing in front of her husband and “…his eyes flinched and looked away,” Simons said. “I tried to rev him up by dancing suggestively in front of him and bending over, but he just started gagging and turned on the TV.” When reached for comment her husband said, “I failed to rise to the occasion… if you know what I mean. Then she started to dance, and I was totally grossed out. It reminded me of the horrifying nude scene in About Schmidt when Kathy Bates get in the Jacuzzi naked. You know my wife just isn’t the twenty two year old semi-attractive nymph that I married. Unfortunately she now looks like a cross between Oprah and Jay Leno, which is not a good combo.”

To combat aging Julie is considering plastic surgery, weight training or drugs and alcohol. One thing is for sure if Julie cannot accomplish her goals of a better self-image she said she vows to, “Focus more on her children and less on her body. I will walk out in my underwear when my children have friends over, to embarrass the hell out of them.” Julie laughed. As for Rodney he is planning on watching more TV, and showering less.